Psychotherapist, Deb Milligan shares her 5-step self-care plan to help you prioritise yourself in order to survive lockdown!
The last 12 months have tested our resilience in ways we would never have imagined, causing escalating levels of stress as we try to adapt and cope with restrictions, uncertainty & juggling multiple responsibilities.
Almost certainly our default position is to put ourselves right at the bottom of our list of priorities. No wonder we’re finding things really tough. Never before has our self-care been as important as it is now.
A phrase I find myself discussing with almost every client is ‘You can’t pour from an empty cup’… If we don’t take the time to give ourselves the care WE need, how can we possibly have anything of substance to pass on to benefit others?
When our own personal ‘cup’ is almost empty it even feels impossible to know how to find ways to re-fill, so here’s a few ideas to help you create your own 5 step self care plan.
Step 1 – ‘Pay attention!’
Take notice of your own moods and energy levels and learn to recognise when you’re close to running on empty. You wouldn’t expect your car to keep going forever on one tank of petrol – you have to stop and re-fuel on a regular basis!
Step 2 – Remind yourself ‘You deserve to feel better’.
It’s not selfish to prioritise your own well-being – it’s essential to all those you’re trying to look after. Be kind to yourself, recognise your need for substantial mental & physical reserves, building up your self-esteem & self-worth.
Step 3 – ‘What triggers your own feel-good feelings?’
You probably have many different ways of feeling ‘good’, so consider different ways you WANT to feel (‘relaxed’, ‘calm’, ‘energised’, ‘excited’, ‘playful’, ‘fulfilled’, ‘joyful’, ‘connected’, ‘proud’, ‘loved’…) Let these help you tailor your own ‘Self-Care Plan’ to deliver the right restorative emotional nourishment for you.
Step 4 – (And this is the big step!) ‘Rewind, find the feeling, press play.’
For each of the feelings, remember what you used to do when you felt that, and bring elements of this back into your life, your routine.
Here are some examples – you’ll probably think of many more that are specific to you.
- For calm/serene/relaxed happy, use sensory triggers like scented candles or oils, bubble- baths, play-lists of ‘spa sounds’ or tranquil music of familiar, well-loved melodies.
- For joyful/energised/up-beat happy, make a playlist that reminds you of that festival, party or concert and play it loud while you cook or clean the house & sing or dance along (even with your kids!)
- For loved/connected happy, make spontaneous calls (phone or zoom) to old friends or family to keep in touch, swap photos and express what you all mean to each other – and as you remember fun times you’ll start to re-trigger old feelings of being together.
The more you tune into things you know have felt good in the past, the more you re-ignite the feelings that went with that experience. There’s actually a whole load of stuff happening neurologically when you do things like this, as your brain instructs the release of a range of different ‘happy chemicals’ like serotonin, endorphins, oxytocin or dopamine, which then create the better feelings you feel. And if you can involve others around you (like laughing or singing or reminiscing together) the bigger the shared effect.
And as with most sets of instructions…
Step 5 – and REPEAT!!
It’s so important to do these things over & over again. We say to others ‘look after yourself’ or ‘take care’. We must say the same to ourselves. The more we allow time for us to feel good, the more we remain balanced & centred, which will keep us feeling clear-headed, emotionally well-regulated, more able to give of ourselves to those who need us, and more able to cope with the whole multitude of demands & pressures of this time.
Deb Milligan is a Hypnotherapist & Psychotherapist working across South Bucks
from her private
treatment space in Beaconsfield AND currently online.
T: 07584840142 / E: deb@seedwellness.co.uk
Deb is a qualified Clinical Hypnotherapist and Psychotherapist and has trained in a number of different talking therapies including Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) and Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP).
Psychotherapy at Seed Wellness
