Seed’s Psychotherapist in Marlow, Sandra Hughes, shares some strategies below to help you through the grieving process when you lose someone you love.
1. Navigate the Ocean of Grief
Grief can feel like being thrown unexpectedly into the middle of an ocean—a change we never wanted or asked for. Suddenly, we find ourselves battling waves, some days feeling overwhelmed and struggling to breathe as we’re dragged under repeatedly. Yet even when it seems there’s no oxygen left in our lungs, something lifts us back to the surface and the cycle continues. Eventually, we hit rock bottom, and on that day, we must decide whether to push off and find our way back to shore or remain adrift. Choosing to keep going allows us to see beyond the water; the waves gradually lessen in strength and frequency until we finally glimpse the shore ahead. In that moment, we have the choice to start swimming toward it. Remember, there is no timetable in grief; it is a deeply personal journey that unfolds at its own pace.
2. Embrace Incremental Progress
Grief can feel paralyzing, making it difficult to engage with life. Start by taking small steps towards re-engaging with the world around you. This could mean setting a goal to read a few pages of a book each day or simply stepping outside for fresh air. Gradually increase your involvement in activities as you feel more comfortable. Celebrate these meaningful moments—acknowledge your progress, however small it may seem, and appreciate yourself for taking those steps forward.
3. Seek New Experiences
Incorporate new experiences into your life that are not connected to your lost loved one. This could involve signing up for a class in something you’ve always wanted to learn—like painting or cooking—or volunteering for a cause that resonates with you. These activities can help you establish a sense of identity beyond your grief and remind you that there is still joy to be found in life. Engaging in new experiences can also provide a sense of accomplishment and foster personal growth—and possibly build new connections with others that might lead to meaningful friendships.
4. Cultivate Gratitude
Focusing on daily wins, no matter how minor they may appear, can shift your mindset from what you’ve lost to what you still have. Celebrate small victories like leaving your bed, brushing your teeth, or completing household chores. Practicing gratitude helps you recognize your survival strength and the areas of life where you still have control. Reflect on what your future self—and your loved one—would want for you moving forward.
5. Prioritise Self-Care
In times of grief, it’s essential to prioritize basic self-care practices that nurture both your body and mind. Ensuring you get enough sleep, eating nourishing meals, and incorporating gentle exercise into your routine can help support your overall well-being during this time. Communicating with trusted friends or family members can also provide comfort and connection when you need it most.
It’s important to be mindful of coping mechanisms that may not serve you well in the long run—such as using drugs or alcohol to numb the pain—as these can hinder healing and prolong suffering. Instead, focus on healthy habits that empower you to face each day with strength and resilience.
6. Seek Professional Support and Group Connection
While the death of a loved one is permanent and profoundly heart breaking, the loss of hope can be temporary. Until you find hope again, consider reaching out to a psychotherapist who can hold that hope for you during this difficult time. A professional can provide empathetic support and guidance, helping you navigate through your grief while honouring the bond that continues beyond death. They can offer tools and strategies to help you process your emotions and find a path forward.
In addition to individual therapy, joining a grief support group can be incredibly beneficial. Connecting with people who have faced similar losses can help reduce feelings of isolation and provide comfort during this challenging time. By embracing these strategies, you can navigate the journey of grief with compassion and hope, finding healing and growth along the way.
Sandra Hughes is a Psychotherapist located in Marlow and works both in person and online. For more info or to contact Sandra, visit www.seedwellness.co.uk/sandrahughes
