Understand what you can do to help protect & promote the mental wellbeing of your children.
When it comes to teenage mental health, drinking, smoking and drug-taking are, according to stats, down in the UK. Yet there is growing evidence that young people are in the grip of a mental health crisis.
In fact, recent research shows that rates of depression and anxiety among teenagers are on the rise, with a reported increase of up to 70% in the past 25 years.
The front line of our medical system is witness to this rise, with double the number of young people and children turning up at A&E with a psychiatric condition since 2009. And hospital admissions for teenagers with eating disorders have also almost doubled in the last three years alone.
In a 2016 survey for Parent Zone, over 90% of teachers reported seeing increased rates of mental illness among both teenagers and children. And they believed the issues were getting worse.
So, what is the cause of this crisis? And what can we do as parents to protect our children from this modern-day pandemic and help them mentally thrive?
Local counsellor, Helen Evans, has worked in a local Buckinghamshire secondary school for the past 6 years and has experienced first-hand the impact stress has on pupils’ mental wellbeing.
Said Helen, “There are many reasons why the young people who come to me are experiencing difficulties, from exam pressure and social relationships to family breakdown and bereavement. The impact of trying to cope with these scenarios can lead to feelings of anger, frustration, depression and anxiety, and left unexplored can be quite detrimental.”
In fact, according to research by Young Minds, a mental health charity, exams are a significant trigger for mental illness in young people. Said Helen, “The pressure that can build up around exams, from the 11+ upwards, is immense and can have a big impact on kids from a really young age. This can trigger feelings of stress, anxiety and low self-confidence, which can then seep into other areas of their lives.”
Often this stress is passed on from both the school and parents. In fact, the anxiety felt by parents is palpable – and this, according to Julie Lythcott-Haims, author of How to Raise an Adult, has a direct impact on their children’s sense of happiness and self-worth as they strive to be ‘good enough’.
Said Helen, “If they fail their exams, then they can feel they have failed as a person. And this is a heavy burden to bear at such a young age.”
Social media is, of course, another big issue. “Children are being forced to grow up in the eye/glare of social media before they are really mature enough or ready to understand how it makes them feel and why,” said Helen.
“They are being bombarded with messages from friends 24/7; there are so many group chats they belong to and the pressure of replying instantly means they don’t get proper ‘downtime’. It’s really important that they are given boundaries (e.g phones not allowed in their bedrooms overnight) just to give them an opportunity to switch off.
“In addition to this, all have mobile phones with instant access to news and current affairs, much of which is far more explicit than when we were growing up – and a far cry from John Craven’s ‘Newsround’!
“And of course, social media in general creates an unrealistic perspective of what life really looks like. It’s just a constant barrage of content that can make them feel inadequate.”
Family breakdown is another common factor behind mental health issues. Said Helen, “Their sense of all being well in the world is rocked to its core and they have to deal with scenarios and situations which are distressing and uncomfortable for them. It is quite common that this will manifest in anger issues, risk taking behaviours, anxiety, struggling at school and eating disorders amongst other things.”
“The reality is that the reasons behind mental illness vary so much that even the most secure upbringing by two loving parents does not guarantee immunity from mental health problems.”
The answer?
It may make sense to focus on proven early-stage therapies such as counselling, psychotherapy or other mind therapies such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). Particularly because when you look at the stats, 75 per cent of adult mental illness emerges before the age of 25 and only 50 per cent of kids and teenagers are receiving any kind of care.
Said Helen, “If you as a parent feel concerned about the mental wellbeing of your child, then it is important to intervene as early as possible. If at that stage you feel unable to help them, then don’t be afraid to seek outside help. Often, young people are so caught up in their own feelings and emotions, they don’t even know where to start looking for the support they need.”
“Counselling provides a safe place where young people can come and talk about how they are feeling and what they are experiencing without feeling judged. It allows them a neutral space where they can explore what’s going on with no pressure and where their feelings and thoughts are valued, accepted and validated. In being listened to, they can begin to hear their own voice, which is often drowned out by those around them. They can make a bit more sense of what is happening in their world.”
“Counselling gives people a much-needed outlet where they can express their thoughts and feelings, which otherwise might whirl around in their heads. This can offer another perspective. It is also a way of understanding and normalising how they are feeling and reacting to a situation, and offers the opportunity to explore those reactions and behaviours together.”
Helen Evans (MBACP) is a qualified counsellor and offers 1:1 sessions in an informal setting. For more information or to speak to Helen, please call 07710 499723 or email helen@seedwellness.co.uk.
Further tips from some of our experts to help your child alleviate and even overcome stress and anxiety:
“Slow down and listen to your children as often as possible, especially when they talk about how they feel. Validate their feelings even when you can’t accept their behaviour: “it’s ok to feel angry, it’s not ok to thump someone.” Ask them what they could do to change things, then let them try out their ideas and learn from their experiences.”
Sam Aspinall – Transformative Coach. For more information, email sam@seedwellness.co.uk
“If you are feeling overwhelmed or struggling, chances are you will project your emotions onto your children. Make sure you are nurturing yourself, giving yourself some space and care. Leading by example is the best way to teach your children not only how to treat others, but how to treat themselves.”
Cecilie Gianneri – Meditation Coach. For more information, email cecilie@seedwellness.co.uk.
“Today, teenagers have access to the least nutritious foods and beverage such as sugary drinks, sugar-laden cereal bars and high saturated fats in fast foods when what they really need is sound nutrition and good hydration. If your teenagers are like mine, they may come in and reach for the biscuits and crisps. My advice is to keep offering water and healthy snacks such as vegetable sticks and fruit. If you are concerned about their diet or health, please get in touch for teenager / child consultation rates.”
Evie Whitehead – Nutritional Therapist. For more information email evie@seedwellness.co.uk.
“Therapeutic grade essential oils provide an effective and natural way to support your children’s emotional and mental health. Diffusing certain oils in the home can help to support their mood. Citrus oils are uplifting while wood & floral oils work well for anxiety.”
Adele Wimsett – doTerra Essential Oils expert. For more information email adele@seedwellness.co.uk.
“My kids are regular and budding mini yogis. They particularly love Cosmic Kids, which offers a wide range of online yoga and mindfulness classes especially for children aged 3+. It’s a great way to introduce younger children to yoga in a fun, creative and engaging way. For more information, check out www.cosmickids.com.”
Kate Kirrane, Yoga Teacher. For more information email kate@seedwellness.co.uk.
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